Girlfriend thinks you need to burn some calories? Back away from the wimpy salads – here’s a much better way to beat the bulge… in more ways than one.

Introducing the Sp@nkometer – strap it to your wrist, enter your ‘stroke’ length, and get whacking the monkey. Discover how many calories you use up in just one session. It’s perfect as a stag night or novelty gift or for proving your talent in a contest.

Keep a monthly record to show just how hard you’ve been working to burn off those calories. You’ll be amazed… and, by perfecting your stroke technique, you’ll soon be performing at your peak. The missus will be pleased. In fact, why not get her to demonstrate her stroke proficiency.

Exercising has never been so pleasurable.